Hangover Blues? Here’s 9 EASY Detox Tips
I don’t know how you spent your holidays, but mine must have been fun because I woke up today feeling like I played a starring role in the film The Hangover.
Whilst I did not get a tattoo on my face or marry a stripper, I did overindulge in fake processed foods, lazed by the pool drowning myself in sugary cocktails and ate desserts like I was a lifetime member of the local liposuction clinic.
Needless to say, after four weeks of what my body can only assume was debauchery, I awoke today in a sugar and junk food coma. Along with the coma I have the most unpleasant souvenirs – a spare tire and a general wobbling sensation that appears to stem from my rear when I walk.
Does this sound familiar to you? Then perhaps you need to read my 9 easy tips on how to cleanse and get back on track.
I spent the majority of my holidays aboard a cruise ship with my family and all food (if you can call it that) and drinks (pure liquid sugar) were all inclusive. Whilst I do believe in living Real with healthy food, lots of movement and minimal crap, I also believe in living large and embracing life at every opportunity. Its like I have a Paris Hilton meets Joni Mitchell internal argument going on.
So I decided to live in the moment by not letting my dietary requirements or my personal health values force me into hide away whilst everyone else indulged.
I lived. I ate. I drank. I had fun.
But now…I feel and look like hell. My eyes are puffy with massive dark rings that threaten to swallow you whole. My jeans seem to have shrunk two sizes forcing me to introduce my muffin top to the world. On top of all of that, I’m not sleeping and feel like I’m a zombie with fluctuating energy throughout the day.
Enough is enough, today is the day I get back on the horse. So this morning, I rolled my butt out of bed to go for a beach walk to reset my health priorities and give myself a stern talking to. For my walk I needed to hide my added kilos and shame in a pair of shorts that were going to give me a little extra breathing space, so I pulled on the baggiest shorts I owned.
To my disgust, they fit. Snugly. I was appalled. How did I get myself here? After this wake up call, its time to stop the shenanigans and clean out the engine.
Enter the scary world of detox diets.
Doing an internet search for detox’s reveals everything from lemon detox programs, coffee enemas, to famous celebrity detox programs that guarantee true health and skinny Barbie-like figures by eating only chickpeas in water.
Ahhh…to lose weight and feel healthy without lifting a finger, if only.
Sadly, life won’t give you that tight butt, flat belly and optimal health just by sitting on your lazy arse praying for it. So what are you going to do, wait for the Fairy Godmother to knock on your door granting you instant sexy, or get moving, fit and healthy again on your own accord?
In addition to the obvious…CUT OUT THE SUGAR AND CRAP, here’s my simple tips (that come FREE) on how I remove myself from the post-Paris Hilton partying blues and back on to a clean life of Real foods.
And I promise you won’t need to stick anything up your bum. Unless you want to.
9 EASY CLEANSING TIPS:
1. Acceptance and Responsibility
Let go of the guilt and accept that you overindulged. Yes you ate. Yes your arse is three times the size it once was. Deal with it. You chose to eat. You chose to stuff those tasty morsels into your pretty face. No one forced you. Accept it, what’s done is done. Just learn and move on.
Use the shitty way you are feeling (and looking), to fuel your way forward. I like to take a photo of my face the first day of detox to show me exactly why I am moving forward from the pits of hangover hell. The puffy eyes speak a thousand words.
Drinking alcohol and eating bad food can deplete your magnesium so I love to replenish my stores by having a scoop of magnesium powder with cool glass of water. Magnesium is vital in detoxification as it provides cells with energy so they can pump out the toxins that have accumulated. It also plays a role in the synthesis of glutathione, a very important antioxidant that you will need to help beat any bad guys in your system.
Magnesium is also vital for energy production in general and the metabolism of carbohydrates and fats to energy. It plays an important role in insulin action, helps to regulate potassium, acts as nature’s calcium channel blocker keeping blood pressure down and is an anti-inflammatory.
Yes I said it. Sex. Is there anything simpler than a good quickie to make you feel better? I think not. Sex is a great cleanser and detoxifier. Getting hot in the bedroom releases oxytocin known as the love hormone, stimulating feelings of warmth and relaxation.
Getting freaky releases dopamine, adrenalin and serotonin, which controls the brain’s reward and pleasure centre, regulating your mood giving you a natural high, more energy and an overall on “I’m on top of the world” feeling.
So turn on the Barry White and Get It On!!
4. Only H20
Help your body to detox the toxins and sugar by drinking 2 – 3L of distilled water a day and by avoiding all other drinks – no more soft drink (yes even diet and coke zero!), no more juice, and certainly no more booze. Even if its just for two weeks…give your body a chance man! The water will help to dissipate the toxins built up in your cells, removing it out of the body via the lymph system.
Don’t like the taste of water? Get over it Princess! Newsflash…you need water, your body can’t live without it. It’s time to man up and force yourself to skull a pint at every meal. If it helps, you can squeeze fresh lemon or lime into the water to give it a little lift in the flavour department.
Start each meal with a bowl of steamed broccoli. Broccoli is a great liver detoxifier full of antioxidants and nutrients that your body will be craving. The fibre will also help you to eliminate the bad food hanging around in your bowels (yes, it will make you poop). And broccoli contain phytonutrients that aid in the excretion of foreign molecules (hello alcohol and caffeine) that you so kindly introduced to your system.
Just remember to keep your veggies naked and clean, no seed oils like sunflower or safflower and definitely no cheesy sauce. Again, a squeeze of fresh lemon juice doesn’t hurt if you think you can’t manage them naked.
6. Protein at every meal
Consume a palm size portion of Real food protein at each meal. I’m talking A Grade protein – free-range eggs, lean grass-fed steak, chicken, seafood, beef or even liver. By eating protein at each meal you will feel fuller more easily and your blood sugar levels will stabilise ensuring you won’t need to gorge on carb loaded crap later.
BUT don’t go overboard and start ordering the 400g+ steaks, palm size is ample. Anymore is a waste and will leave your body having to work over time to metabolise it creating further issues.
Moving will get your blood pumping again helping your circulatory system and your lymphatic system to pump out the crap. It also provides fresh, healthy oxygen to your organs and cells helping to eliminate further toxins from your lungs. It doesn’t matter what exercise you do, just get your heart rate up for at least 20minutes each day.
But don’t kid yourself, it’s not a simple walk as you gasbag to a friend. If you can talk, your heart rate probably isn’t high enough. You want to challenge yourself enough that gossiping about what you did last night, shouldn’t come easy.
8. Heal the gut
Now that we have started the process, it’s time to focus on healing the damage we have done. The gut is like the main central processing area, if you damage it, the goods will have trouble getting in while the bad guys will sneak through accessing areas they should not have been able to. Which means, hormones go crazy, proteins and other nutrients aren’t absorbed causing nutritional deficiencies leading to a plethora of negative health issues and general feelings of blah.
Removing all the bad foods and toxins is a great start to healing your gut followed by consuming foods that aid in the healing process. Here are a few that I like:
- coconut oil is anti-fungal and anti-microbial, use it in your coffee, in your cooking and rub it on your skin
- fermented food such as sauerkraut is perfect for rebuilding good bacteria
- homemade bone broth restores the lining of your gut
- good organic, no added sugar yoghurt for the prebiotics to replenish the good bacteria.
Well what are you waiting for? Do you want to sit around in your muffin top feeling like crap for the next year or do you want to spend 2014 chasing your goals, feeling great and looking fab?
Live these tips for a minimum of two weeks, let your system equilibrate and get yourself back on track with living Real. Good luck.
What are your favourite ways to detox your system to help you get back on track to living Real?